rob turner

We take so many things for granted. That our car will start or the garage door opener will work when the button is pressed. That fuel will be more gas than water and our favorite fast food venue will get our complex no raw onions, extra crispy bacon order just right. Well, right more times than not.

 
 

robert turner

One of my favorite things to do on the web is to go into a car company’s web site, head straight to their configurator and build something. Sometimes it will be a stripper, just the basic car to see how cheap I can build it. And more times than not, I go all in adding every option to see how far I can take it to the other extreme. I try different colors, different interiors, different wheels and I spare no expense on the performance options. If you are going to build something, you may as well go big. Right?

 
 

robert turner

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my '76 Turbo Carrera
So I have gone over to the dark side. That’s the side that does not contain a Porsche. It has other stuff taking root, filling my brain with non-Porsche bullshit, stuff that should not matter. Whatever. Well truth be told I still have part ownership in a Cayenne. But my oldest son drives it and he is away at college, so I am not sure that counts.

 
 

robert turner

Buying a car is easy, buying a house is really hard

Conservatively speaking, I have probably bought and sold 40+ cars over the years. Some of the sales have been pretty straight forward. As in you come an agreed upon price and the deal is done. My wife will tell you that I enjoy the car dealer experience and love the haggling over obscure finer points like the MSO and hold back dollars. But some Private party sales can be more challenging. You no doubt will agree if you have ever sold an older Porsche (or one that has a ton of go fast mods). Yep, get ready for it. Endless questions. Even if your carefully crafted For Sale ad addressing all of the salient points of the car, someone will ask you to go even deeper…”can you tell me the valve clearance on the 3rd Cylinder at TDC when the engine is completely cold and when it is running at normal operating conditions”. Yes I have had those questions. And if you have sold a Porsche…any Porsche, I bet you have had them too.

 
 

robert turner

I travel a lot on business. How much? Most weeks. There is the occasional break here and there, but overall, I am a road warrior. People ask me where I am based and I tell them mostly on an American Airlines flight flying right over them, right now. I could go on for a long time about the joys of business travel and trust me, it is not even close to anything resembling glamorous. Frequently it completely sucks. 

 
 

robert turner

Remember 2000? It was the start of a new decade and besides the dreaded Y2K debacle, the dot com bubble and a shit load of other stuff that happens when you stick a bunch of zero’s on the end of a number, things seemed pretty quiet in the world of Porsche. Think about it; they only had two cars. The Carrera, with its less than dozen variants, and the Boxster, which had: two. The automotive winds were changing, but if you visited the Porsche headquarters in Zuffenhausen, it was probably like a time warp. 

 
 

robert turner

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the G-Force producing, smile inducing Cayman S...
Man, I was Boxster’ed out. Owned three of them. One Boxster and two Boxster S’s. Then when you throw in the 987 Cayman S that really adds up to four. Man…I am Boxster’ed out. I felt like I was in a funk. It seemed to me to be the same old, same old. How is that possible, I mean these are Porsches after all. 

 
 

words and shots by Robert Turner

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notice the name...
We knew we were getting close. You would think it was the vibe, like some sort of red Ferrari mojo or the full on shriek of a V-12 drifting around the Fiorano test track. No, it was the street signs saying “Museo Ferrari 500M” ahead. The factory and museum are located in what is for the most part a large industrial area. Nothing special, just lots of warehouses and freight trucks lined up for their shipments.

 
 

words and shots by Robert Turner

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checking the rental documents
I love Italian cars. And not just Ferrari’s and Lambo’s. Anybody can like those. I love Alfa’s, some Fiat’s, and most Maserati’s. The Italians may not build a well engineered car but they do know a thing or two about design. There are a few misses along the way; take a look at the Fiat Multipla, or rather don’t. I hope you have a strong stomach because looking at one of those may make you want to hurl your lunch. I know it does for me.

 
 

words by Robert Turner

Brand loyalty. Automotive manufacturers just love the concept. It means that life-time buyers can go from the El Cheapo entry-level car all the way up to the Grand Poobah lux barge, all without leaving the comfort and safety of the driver’s seat of their favorite brand. No doubt the Grand Poobah is probably the most expensive car in the fleet and, I have a sneaking suspicion, also the least fuel efficient car in the fleet too, but that’s okay, because it’s also the most profitable car the manufacturer makes. You know—the one that no matter what the Government of XYZ country does to try to kill it, the manufacturer will keep building that sucker till the nodding donkeys stop pumping oil.