robert turner

my '76 Turbo Carrera
So I have gone over to the dark side. That’s the side that does not contain a Porsche. It has other stuff taking root, filling my brain with non-Porsche bullshit, stuff that should not matter. Whatever. Well truth be told I still have part ownership in a Cayenne. But my oldest son drives it and he is away at college, so I am not sure that counts.
So what do I do, how do I account for the time I spend thinking about cars, which BTW is pretty much a goodly sized chunk of the day. No surprise then when I tell you that I think of Porsches. I can’t get enough of the Porsche club magazine, the Indy Porsche magazines, EVO, Top Gear and all the rest of the car rags that truly matter and I find myself searching for Porsche stuff. Like even pouring over all the ads, trying to picture myself buying stuff for a car I do not fucking own.

I know, it kinda sucks. I feel pretty lame being Porsche-less. I mean I sold my most recent Porsche and I bought a really great car but my mind still wanders. Where does it take me? Let’s see if I can focus my thoughts long enough to let you know the direction the compass needle is pointing. And it’s probably pointing to Stuttgart.

The Cayman GT4: fuck, I really want one. But $95K seems so far away it’s almost orbiting Uranus. Maybe I can buy one someday, but the cheapest they will ever be is $95K. Don’t see the price ever coming down so I doubt that will ever happen.
photograph by Connor Hinkle
photograph by Julian Calverley.
Any GT3: Oh second place to a GT4? I must be smoking something really pungent. Might have to really sacrifice and get some 997 version, but I suspect I can sink that low and get one. I’m good with it.

The 928: I love the S4’s. You could have sex on that spoiler. Don’t tell my wife though. Although she might want to join me….

Speed Yellow 968’s: Holy shit batman, can a car be any better looking than a wild ass banana yellow 968? Yeah, I did not think so.

Ultimately it comes back around to a 981 Cayman S, cause I really love Caymans. But when the time comes, that is probably what I will be able to afford. I can only hope that I can stick some go fast mods on it. I will want to track it… Listen if I ever say I do not want to track a car, you can bury me 6’ under cause I am long gone and dead.

Probably hang on to the Mini Cooper GP though. It’s a collectable and I might (god fearing) make some money on it someday. Unless I sell it first to fuel a new (to me) Porsche. I have a great history selling shit; my car and stock mojo is unbelievable. Just ask my wife about my famous Apple stock sale, she might have some choice words for you. OH and mention the 1976 930 Turbo Carrera while you are at it. Be ready to duck.

And on that exhaust note, see you all next time.
Robert Turner is the author of The Driver, a series of six novels your editor in chief finds intoxicatingly engaging and superbly written; Book I— Decision and Book II— Training are currently available hereHe also has a blog entitled My Life with Porsches. Robert can be contacted at



Matthew Mariani
09/22/2015 21:23


Fun to finally read someone articulate the idea of being Porscheless, I've been there and know the feeling but only briefly.. The time is spent [as you say] finding another Porsche that fits your budget at that moment. There's always a Porsche that will fit your current situation and you may be pleasantly surprised in the fun you'll have in a formerly regarded "lesser" Porsche. Find one with good compression, make it light and enjoy.

I've never read an article that's articulated this feeling.

Take care and good luck fnding that Cayman-Matt


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