Interior: Black leather, Exterior: Gray, special 18'Alufelgen, special music system, rear spoiler, front + rear bumper, side skirts, all service, Non smoking car, fresh from MFK and timing belt replacement, original images on fg-automobile.ch.
Look, I'll tell it to you straight.

Unlike the Swiss, being neutral is not in my nature. I have an opinion, likes and dislikes, I call it like I see it and I don't hold back. Some magazines act like pussies by trying to not anger their readers and please everyone for the sake of retaining readership and subscriptions. Not flüssig. We take a position and stick by it.

Now that we have that crystal clear, let me sink my fangs into this rolling felony.
I could think of a thousand ways to ruin a car. But since I don't try to be different for the sake of claiming my individuality in this world, I won't. This car, on the other hand, had a "hobby stylist" for a previous owner who thought that the lines of the 968 needed to be a bit amplified. It looks he certainly accomplished this at the expense of a rare car.

Firstly, this is not a CS and any attempt to create one missed the mark entirely. The 959ish bumper fascia vents only work on the 959, they exist for purpose which I can't quite figure out what they serve on this example other than for looks.
From this angle, we see the 959 turn into a Ferrari F430, which looks complete shit on the it and this 968; oh and the front end also carries on with the Ferrari theme by mimicking the F360, also looking like shit on...both examples.  The obvious exhaust modification from the perfected factory version to this is usually seen on the back end of a pimply-faced teenager's Honda, the adjustable 968 Turbo RS-type wing surely doesn't flatter or help the nonsense going on back here.
Inside the cockpit, the eyes get a bit of break by being greeted by factory RECARO-made seats. Good judgement was used here, but I'm sure that, had the owner not bankrupted himself with the plastic add-ons on the outside, this would've been the next area of ruination on the list. You can begin seeing evidence of this with the shift knob that looks like a truncated Champagne flute...totally tasteless.
Thankfully, sense was carried out in the engine bay too; so it seems that the damaged incurred was only cosmetic. All easily undone to uncover the perfection made in Zuffenhausen.

So for nearly $29K, you can fit right in with the pants-on-the-ground-hoodie-wearing kids and feel like you belong to a serious tribe of car enthusiasts hell bent on having the most bad-ass ride that sound like weed-whackers when revved.

There may be some that like this look and maybe they should speak that quietly. I just don't see the advantages of adding pointless accessories to an already fabulous car that engineers worked so hard to perfect.

Is there anything on this Scheiß auto I dug? The alcantara covered cassette/armrest lid, I liked where he was going with that.

el jefe



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