el jefe

I bought the car because I thought it would be a cool project. Then I got a job out of town and found out I'll be gone for some months and lost interest. I've priced all of the parts I would have needed for it and I figured about $1,200 and it would be a really nice weekend car. 
The bad:
The seats
The transmission linkage
Power steering
The odometer stopped at 110,something
No radio
The cooling fan relay has to be taken out when the car is off or till kill the battery
The dash is sun baked and cracked
The passenger side tail light is busted. I have a replacement
Motor needs a tune up
The paint is 26 years old

The good:
The body is straight
Good tires
All the gauges work
All glass is good
New battery
Would make a great project car
2.5L 4 cylinder engine.

This car has potential, I just don't have the time for it. Hagerty says these cars are going for $4,000 in fair condition and they're becoming more valuable, you can do the research. I'm asking $1,500.
I've pondered this ad for a little bit. Then I came to the conclusion that this cat fucked up in buying this car because he had no idea just how expensive a $1250 944 can be to repair. Let me re-write the ad as if I were in his predicament:

I bought this car because I thought it would get me laid. Problem is, I don't have a goddamn clue about this machine. The guy I bought it from just said it needed a few dollars, I believed him and fell for it hook, line, and sinker. What makes things worse is that my current job of at the Piggly Wiggly doesn't pay diddly-shit, so I had no choice but to take a  second job because this car was sinking me fast...real fast. It would've taken a month's wages to pony-up for the rebuilt power steering unit and another 3 months worth to put in a new clutch, rebuild the tranny and torque tube. So that's about $3200 right there if I do it all myself.

It also needs new ball joints (I heard you have to buy the entire control arm at $500 a pop for that), struts and shocks forabout $800, belts, water-pump, rollers, and all the front end seals for another $650, hell, I didn't even figure in all the other little shit this thing needs just to make it right like oil cooler seals, balance shaft seals, brakes, brake hoses, clutch master and slave cylinders, tires, radiator, hoses, hood/hatch struts, fixing the de-laminating rear hatch...I'd be in it for $5250 as it stands, again, with me doing all the work. So, as you can clearly see, I'm so in over my head that my old lady is threatening to take the kids and leave for her momma's if I don't get rid of this thing.

I needed a weekend car like I needed a hole in my head—I sure won't do that again.

And that's how it should've been penned. This little ditty isn't about belittling the guy and his poor judgement, which I'm presuming, it's about making the unaware aware of what it takes to bring this sort of car into a dependable driver. I've been there myself, the only difference is I didn't buy it for about the cost of an X-Box or Nintendo and I still had to sink serious money into it...I also knew what I was getting myself into.

highball!
 


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